[Previous entry: "Retraction"] [Next entry: "Wardrobe Function"]
02/24/2005: "Trade Me!"
So, after a nice afternoon nap, and I click onto ESPN.com to find that the Knicks have made a couple of deals at the NBA trade deadline.
Good, I think... maybe they're finally getting serious about rebuilding. Maybe they got rid of some big, stupid contracts. Maybe...
Wait a minute, Isiah Thomas is still in charge.
Indeed, the Knicks traded for two players with even bigger, stupider contracts:
Malik Rose, four years, $27.3 million left: He's 30 years old, a 6-7 forward who's an OK defender. At least, he'd better be, because he's averaged more than 10 points a game a grand total of once in a nine-year NBA career. How do these guys make $6 million a year and can't even score 10 points a game? Is that really so much to ask? 10 points? And just what the Knicks need, too, a 6-7 forward. Join the club.
Maurice Taylor, two years, $18 million left: Was suspended last season for violating the league's drug policy. To be fair, the Knicks did dump Vin Baker in this deal. Taylor doesn't stink, but he's not good, and certainly not a guy that you want to be on the hook with for two more years at $9 million per.
But wait! The Knicks are getting draft picks! Wonderful. They're getting one that belonged to the Suns and one that belonged to the Spurs. That's how you want to rebuild, with low first round draft picks. I'm sure Freddie Weis will still be available.
And the players the Knicks got rid of weren't even their primary stinky guys. They traded Nazr Mohammed, who was hardly the worst player on the floor averaging 11 points and eight rebounds a game, along with Baker, Moochie Norris and Jamison Brewer, three guys who never play.
Allan Houston? He's still here. Stephon Marbury and Jamal Crawford? Of course they're still here. Tim Thomas? You bet.
Tim F. Thomas is now the second tallest player on the Knicks at 6-10. The only guy taller is Bruno Sundov, a 7-2 stiff. Tim Thomas... Tim Thomas... Tim Thomas... second tallest Knick. Is there a Knick fan alive who wouldn't reverse that trade last year and get back Keith Van Horn and Michael Doleac for Thomas and Mohammed? Anyone? Of course not. Tim Thomas. Ugh. The guy is 6-10 and has averaged four rebounds a game for his career. But he makes the Knicks more "athletic." Great, Isiah, great. What is this, a track meet? It doesn't matter if the guy can jump out of the building, if he's 6-10 and can't grab a board, he shouldn't be in the NBA.
Someone needs to grab Isiah by the collar and give him Al Pacino's speech from Glengarry Glen Ross -- "What you're hired for is to help us, does that seem clear to you? To help us not to fuck us up!"
Actually, someone should have done that a long time ago. This is the same guy who ran an entire league into the ground. Is it any wonder that he's managed to make a miserable franchise even worse?
He doesn't need to be fired. That would be too good for Isiah at this point. He needs to leave, so that society can be protected from him and his decision-making.
The only thing that Isiah was ever good at was "point guard." That's the only job he's qualified for. Since he can no longer do that, he needs to be taken out of the mix and put into an institution. Whether it's a mental ward or DeVry, I don't care. Just get this guy some help, and get him out of a position where he can have an effect on people's lives.
If Isiah were president, his first move would be to give nuclear weapons to North Korea in exchange for the recipe for bul-ko-ki. If he were a janitor, he'd form a "more athletic" cleanser by mixing ammonia and bleach, killing everyone in sight.
He's already killing me.
About
