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12/25/2004: "Merry Yule Log!"
There's a part of me that would like to write a bunch of things that I've liked about 2004, just to counteract my last Grinchly entry.
But that's not my style.
First of all, I don't like to get too deeply personal with what I write publicly (as semi-private as this may be in a world where I probably am close personal friends with 95 percent of my readership). That's why yesterday was about "Things That Annoyed Me" rather than "Things That Made Me Question Whether The Universe Had Any Point To It." I'm not going to write "Things That Restored My Faith In The Order Of Things," and I don't think writing "Things That Made Me Giggle, Then Hope Nobody Thought I Looked Too Girlish While I Was Giggling" is a worthwhile exercise.
Really, it's darn near impossible to rant and rave about the positive. Just look at the definition of "rant" in the dictionary: "to talk in a noisy, excited or declamatory manner."
What's "declamatory," you ask? Something to do with getting seafood out of a shell? No, it's "of, relating to or marked by declamation or rhetorical display." That's little help... "declamation" is linked directly to "harangue," which means "a ranting speech or writing." And "rant?" Well, we're right back where we started, and about to set me off on a declamation on the stupidity of circular definitions.
I don't want to do that.
I also don't want to write one of those "Here's why this was a great year" things and come off like a total ass or a pompous braggart. You also don't want to read why things are awesome. Like I said, I picked silly nit-picky things that annoyed me. I don't have as many silly nit-picky things that make me happy. Nobody does. Because you don't pick at nits of happiness. You enjoy them. Nits of annoyance bite at you, then you scratch the bites, then they become festering boils of rage and you rant about them constantly on your website, even if they're long over with. Well, you do if you're me. The minor bits of happiness and joy are things like, "I saw a really cute puppy today."
As I've tried to convince myself a million times, my propensity to share my rantings more often than my stories of good times does not necessarily make me a negative person. I really enjoyed my trip to the only Arby's in New York City earlier this month. I shared that here. But it's not as good material to keep coming back to as, say, "Bush is an idiot" or "What World Series? The players went on strike after Game 3 of the ALCS."
Right now, I'm enjoying the Yule Log on TV. I always enjoy the Yule Log. The MSG Network has a near-perfect day of TV lined up today. It's 12 hours of Yule Log followed by 14 hours of the 1994 Rangers. The only things holding it back from perfection are that 12 plus 14 is 26 and that they're not showing Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals for some reason.
Actually, I'll be fake TiVo-ing the Channel 11 Yule Log later. Classic Yule Log. I think MSG might even be doing some HDTV Yule Log, and I know that all of my TV comes in via cable, but there's something about the sweet, over-the-air WPIX Yule Log that makes it really Christmas.
And I'm not alone. When I was nine years old, New York had its first Christmas without the Yule Log since 1966. It went away for 12 years. But people, showing care for what really matters in the world, sent bushels of complaints to Channel 11. They brought back the Yule Log in 2001. Now, it's got enough of a following that they advertise the Yule Log. "Hey! We've got the Yule Log!"
They don't even really need to advertise the Yule Log. Everyone knows about the Yule Log. In fact, since the Yule Log came back, it's been No. 1 in its time slot ever year. And you can now watch The Yule Log on the Web (they do have HDTV Yule Log after all). Or you can watch the Yule Log at my house any time you want after I fake TiVo it. Yule Log on demand. It's the wave of the Yule Log future.
It's funny, before I read that thing on the WPIX site, I didn't remember the Yule Log being gone for 12 years. I remembered annual Yule Log. Maybe that's because a cable station like MSG picked it up, but I remembered it as WPIX threatening a year without Yule Log, people calling in, mass protest... presto! Yule Log! Maybe I just don't recognize a year as having really happened if there was no Yule Log. Repression of non-Yule Log memories. I'm fine with that. It's not Christmas without the Yule Log.
I can't say "Yule Log" enough. Man, it's awesome. Yule Log, baby. Yule Log.
It fits into any situation.
"First prize is the Cadillac. Second prize is a Yule Log. Third prize is you're fired." (Glengarry Glen Yule Log)
"Show me the Yule Log!" (Jerry MagYule Log)
"Frankly, my Yule Log, I don't give a damn." (Gone With the Yule Log)
OK, so maybe that qualifies as a rant about something that makes me happy. I'm glad to prove myself wrong.
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